A Cross Examination Part 3: Freedom |
| Posted by Mark (mark) on Jul 02 2008 at 3:46 PM |
I’ve written several stories and several more articles, I’ve pondered different concepts and aspects of this issue, and I’ve read some of what others have written on the subject. But when it gets down to the bottom line, I think the reality of freedom is far more simple than I initially suspected, and eventually denied. Yes, life is convoluted and full of greys, and one could examine the myriad of tertiary issues around freedom. Yet the heart of it remains simple, and I believe it must be that way lest we make freedom so complicated, that grasping it becomes a bondage in and of itself.
When I say it is simple, I mean it is simple in that while physical freedom and political freedom and freedom of speech and a dozen more freedoms are very nice and desirous; they are not the freedom I’m truly after. If I’m enslaved and put in prison, or live under a communist regime and I am unable to freely speak my mind—while these can be terrible—I still have the sense, somewhere deep within that life can be found in spite of these oppressions. There are many stories of men who lived under such circumstances but whose spirits were never broken. There are stories of men in prison who lived far more freely than wealthy men not restricted by any physical, moral, or monetary constraint. Thus you can understand when I say freedom is simple, because when you peel away all these outer layers of freedom we are left with the one freedom that seems to elude us so expertly, yet we know is seminal for us to have life. This freedom is the freedom from myself.
As I can’t control other people’s thoughts and actions, I can never be fully free from them; and if I could, I fear the totality of that isolation would be a far worse bondage (perhaps hell itself). Thus I am left with freedom from myself. Freedom from my self-hatred, from my fear of rejection, from my shame, from my judgments of things I know little about; freedom from misplaced expectations; freedom to receive and give love; freedom from the tyranny that is in me. The tyranny that is in me is quite simple to. At the root is selfishness fueled by fear and shame.
I bet you’re wondering how this is simple. How can it be simple when generations have seemingly lost the battle to bondage? I agree that living what I’m writing is a messy proposition, but that doesn’t negate the simplicity of freedom; for freedom is simply this: love. Yes, love is at the heart of freedom, and there is no greater expression of love throughout the annals of history than the cross. And what was the cross but an act of sacrifice, an act of freedom.
I’m convinced sacrifice is the freest act we can know; when we don’t have to selfishly fight for and control our possessions (including relationships) and no longer strive to hold on to things (including our own life) then we are free and not in bondage to them or ourselves. This is how love is at the heart of freedom; or, I should say how freedom is simply one of many fruits borne of love. The more we love the more nothing—nothing has a hold of us; we are free to give away all. Alternately, this is captivity: being bound to desires and fears and loss; captivity is searching for life in accumulation rather than generosity.
Freedom is living a life that is increasingly sculpted by His love. It is making decisions rooted in that love. The cross brought the healing that allows us to receive His love, and it is in receiving that love that we are transformed and truly free. In the past I would have attempted to define freedom by outlining some form of what I thought it was. But I have found descriptions of form woefully inadequate in many matters of the kingdom. It is the heart that always matters. As such, I do not define the freedom we have in Christ by contrasting it with rules and regulations. I do not form it up in light of the law under which we once were. I don’t define it by lines of conduct (ethics) drawn up from my current revelation—no matter how wide or narrow they be. I have come to see that there are truly no lines in love, only heart.
This has always been a struggle for me. I once defined my life and value by the lines I had judged, and how I measured up to them in relation to others. New revelations caused me to adjust those lines and amend my judgments; but this always brought death because it was at its heart a manifestation of the bondage to myself. Even if in my judgment I assessed that as Paul said—all things are lawful—am I still not focused on form? Have I not drawn up a new set of lines? Have I not judged that I am under no law? Is this not my new set of lines? And would those lines of judgment not quickly cause me to compare my level of freedom to yours? Is there any more freedom in this than judging that we are still bound to the ten commandments? Neither is truly free because living by a set of rules is not what love does.
I heard it said once that rules are what we need to teach us how to treat one another, when we don’t love each other. This pierces my heart—the heart which loves to draw up lines and judge by them; for if I love you then the rules become irrelevant. Rules are not needed to guide love, but to mitigate selfishness. Freedom is not doing what ever you want; it is love. Every time I violate love with my thoughts and actions, it just reveals a part of my heart that still needs to receive the love expressed on the cross, and be transformed; and when we come to see life this way, the fear of abusing freedom is no longer relevant; for those who willfully abuse freedom fool no one but themselves.
This is what the cross has won for us: the opportunity to receive His love; and this is true freedom. The freedom Christ came to give us was not about getting out from under the law. In fact, He fulfilled the law instead of abolishing it. Instead, it was about freeing us from sin and shame so we could receive God’s love, then pour out that love. That is true freedom.
